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Wednesday, July 14th, 2010
1:01 pm - here.
i withdrew from lj again.

one of my best friends was murdered a few days after my last entry.

stabbed to death in a random act of violence outside a party.
gang initiation type deal, apparently.

he left my house less than 2 hours before it happened...

hasn't been a day since where he hasn't been on my mind.

the pain grows stronger, watch it grin...

miss you bad, bud.

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Monday, April 6th, 2009
2:25 pm - tweet tweet
I've been twatting. muhaha

follow me: www.twitter.com/KingsCrossing


I've gotten into podcasts lately. I dig:
- The Adam Carolla Podcast
- SModcast (w/ Kevin Smith & Scott Mosier)
- I Love Movies (w/ Doug Benson)

Thinking about doing one myself.

Mart said Killshot was a huge disappointment. That was kind of a bummer, 'cos I was looking forward to seeing it...I saw it late last night/early morning, and I loved it. I don't know what he was smokin'. Ghostbusters, however, was kiiiiiiind of a disappointment. It was the first time I ever watched it... I had been holding off on it. I can still appreciate it, especially 'cos it's got Murray & Aykroyd in the cast, but I was hoping for something more funny, and entertaining, I guess. Maybe I'll find that in the sequel. All in all, 3/5.

current mood: hungry

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Monday, March 23rd, 2009
2:18 pm - heroes
new ep tonight.

greg gunberg (matt parkman) says tonights ep is the best ever.

3rd ep since brian fuller has returned as showrunner, and the last two were awesome. glad to see the show getting back on track.

fuller was the showrunner on heroes during season 1, but then left to work on pushing daisies, but since daisies has been canned, he has returned as showrunner on heroes, and thank goodness, 'cos the show was sucking without him... he's promised to make it like it was in season 1, and so far, he's a man of his word. pushing daisies was a good show, and i'm a TAD saddened to see it go, but heroes is far superior, so i'm happy. and um...

current mood: high

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Wednesday, February 11th, 2009
4:10 am - it's been
two years, two months, and twenty days since my last post...

& exactly three months to the day my grandmother (my favorite person in the world) passed away. -- still just not the same w/o her. has left such a hole. deep, deep.

&& six days since i turned 22... how about that?


went out around 2:30 am
paris og'd in franklin hills w/ a. ogan
got some fatburger-- damn they're pricey!
$11 for a regular fatburger with fries and drink.


there is...

much to say.

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Tuesday, November 21st, 2006
4:21 pm - sOs
i sit here listening to
the sounds of silence

the actual
sounds of silence.

it's so beautiful.
relaxing,
breath-taking,
refreshing,
cooling,
calming,
...

but it all comes to an end
at some point--

something gets in the way;
be it death,
or hunger,
or...

there's no music playing.

current mood: chill'd on starfruit & hungry

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Monday, September 25th, 2006
10:42 pm - 19 years, 7 months, 20 days;
and i still don't know anything about the phenomenon that is: star trek.

i hope i'm a better man for it.

current mood: determined

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Saturday, September 23rd, 2006
4:56 pm - crazy
the world should end
and be reborn
as a place
where people could live


...some people never go crazy,
what truely horrible lives they must lead.

- The Buk

it's good to go nuts once in a while.
once. in. a. while.

the future loves me.

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Wednesday, September 6th, 2006
8:00 pm - whiskey works better than beer
Yes!

Johnnie Walker ran

Met the wise man past down Alameda
He stared deep into my eyes
Saw my soul, it was a vista
Stood face to face in a silent talk
Seperated by the cracks in the sidewalk
Speeding into gear, shifting into fear
This man was a sear
He shuffled my hand, and whispered in my ear
Wise man told me whiskey works better than beer
Whiskey works better than beer
And whiskey works better than beer
He told me whiskey works better than beer
Whiskey works better than beer
Whiskey works better than beer
He told me whiskey works better than beer

I smiled and walked away
Beneath the dying day
He stood there for a stay---
And I play to remain
You're bound to go insane
When all your gain is pain
I dried in the rain
And met this fellow now
He asked me for a how
And he asked me for a way
I shook his hand, a fay
Then I laughed and sneered a sneer
Filled his eyes with blear
Stood face to face, a peer
Then I whispered in his ear
And I told him that--
A wise man told me whiskey works better than beer
Whiskey works better than beer
And whiskey works better than beer
He told me whiskey works better than beer
Whiskey works better than beer
Whiskey works better than beer
He told me whiskey works better than beer

Johnnie Walker ran

Yes!

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Monday, September 4th, 2006
7:25 pm - The End, my only friend...
they key to a happy life
is to not be afraid of death
but at the same time
if you're not afraid of death
you're an idiot.


doors was an ok movie. love val kilmer & kevin dillon.
i related with jim morisson.

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Monday, August 7th, 2006
2:32 pm - The D Word
the other day, coming home,
my neighbor and i made small talk.
he is in his late 40s and has cancer.
over the past couple years,
he has gone from looking young and healthy (though a bit pudgy),
to looking old and sick.
after talking, i unlocked the door,
walked inside, locked the door,
turned around, and it all hit me,
like a punch in the gut.
i stood there, still,
in shock, for about two minutes.
terribly amazing how life can fuck you,
and not even have the decency to kiss you first.
he seems to be doing well, though,
i really hope he does.

life and death.
life wants more life,
death wants more death.

i seem to have death on my mind a lot.
sorta like i take it with me wherever i go.
before, i never even really thought about it too much.
i never really feared death or anything.
although both my grandfathers have passed,
death still never seemed to be all that real to me,
and then, all of a sudden, it was all too real.
i just can't understand it.

went to palm springs for the 2nd time this year,
not a fan of the place, but it was alright.

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Tuesday, July 11th, 2006
9:59 pm - keep on dreamin' boy, 'cos when you stop dreamin', it's time to die
a lot has happened. a lot;
-my first male cousin (from my first cousins) got married. i'm the youngest cousin, he was the middle. the oldest isn't married yet. the oldest looks sort of like a puffy kiefer sutherland, kind of...
-since may of last '05, i had made a good friend. over time, we had become very close friends... we grew close quick. turns out, he was a douchebag. he talked shit behind everyones backs, bullshitted about everything. we took him to griffith park and gave him a piece of our mind.
-getting caught w/ ganj-
-my uncles had a stroke. his face is gonna be a little off for a little while, i guess.
-i did an extremely cheesy mini-series that i hope no one ever sees. got some flick stuffs going on, more on those later...

i spent the weekend-of-prior-to-the-4th-of-July in Palm Springs, CA again, even though last year it really stunk. looking back, it was good times, but while i was there, most of it was boring and shitty... this time we stayed less and had more people and smaller space, but had more fun. there was this one dude there that didn't say more than 10 words the whole time we were there. he would always be watching the tv, like he's gazing into it, like a heart surgeon gazing into an aorta. at 3am or so, he went straight from hours and hours of not moving his eyes off the tv to just lying back to where i was sitting (i went up to wash my hands or something) and he just, in a second flat, just fell asleep. then he woke up hours later around 8 or 9 am, and went back straight into the tv watching, as if he never stopped and had been following the programming all along.

levonade haze pwns

last year something terrible happened in Palm Springs that i didn't feel comfortable enough to write about it at the time, i guess. - so, my friends and i were hanging in our rooms, and there were US soldiers or marines or whatever staying next door to us or somewhere nearby on our floor... so one of those guys was in our room talking to us... having a good time... he drank what he called our "expensive" vodka and loved it... he was drunk already though... so then my other friends arrived... after a while, they wanted to get rid of this guy, so when he walked out, one of my friends locked the door, and then when he came back, we didn't answer. so, in the morning we found out that he went drunk driving and hit a wall and died. he was from Utah, and was going to have a baby with his girlfriend in 10 days... still makes me sad. i think, maybe i shoulda gotten up and let him in, i knew i wanted to, 'cos he was cool... but if he got in, who's to say he wouldn't have done the same after he had left without us locking him out? eh, who knows, i just hope those who he left behind are well.

well, i guess this is good enough for now.
will try to try to attempt another update soon.
smile for me. keep it still. keep it real. peaceness'd --

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Sunday, May 21st, 2006
4:06 pm - enjoyment
i enjoy enjoying simple moments.

i feel oddly good right now.
there's a little fly
flying around
but i don't seem to mind.

pop made godfather
was disrespected
was taken care of. (?)

landed a mini-series
it's an ok start.
hope all goes well.

be true to yourselves, and each other.

current mood: mellow

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Sunday, May 7th, 2006
11:09 am - momentry - moment to remember
earlier in the year
late at night
i decided to go to mcdonalds.
can't remember if the drive-thru
was too long
or i just didn't feel like driving through
i parked the car.
big mac, some fries, and a powerade
maybe a cheeseburger or two
i waited for my order.
as i waited, a young, beautiful latin woman walked in
or maybe she was already there
i hadn't really noticed
she had joined the line
she was with her son
she made her order
as her son ran about
and i had a view
of her ass
waiting to explode out of those suit-pants
and those breasts
those magnificent breasts
it was as if they were speaking to me
we felt like long lost friends
wanting to get together
waiting;
i had quite the view.
i look behind us
and there stands a black man
not that old of a guy
but bottom of the food chain
probably just got off a shift at a car-wash
or judging by the time and his appearance
maybe he just got off selling crack
on the corner of la brea.
as i looked at him
he looked at me
and immediately
we shared a smile
a smile that could only be shared
by two men
in that moment.
it didn't matter
what our names were
where we were from
who we were
who we've killed
or who we've fucked
in that moment
we were the same person.
that was a good feeling
not too many of those around.
those delicious breasts still stood there
i enjoyed the view for as long as i could
knowing i'd never get to see those again.
the black man, too.
we knew it was just for show
just a preview to a movie we'd never see
no feeling or life to it
but it's own.
i knew i could have said something
might have found a way in those suit-pants
maybe not the same night, but given time
could have been possible
it's happened before
but this time was different
i didn't feel up to it
i was too weak
felt maybe the view was too much
too over-whelming, perhaps
or maybe i just wanted to
go home
and eat my fucking burger.

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Sunday, January 29th, 2006
3:04 am - son, we've got fire power the size of japanese soldiers
ring in the new year.
quit smoking, though i wasn't a heavy smoker.
smoking cigs, that is.
think i might need a break from mr. nice guys'
for a little while...or might not...or might.
half-baked, currently.

met robert on new years eve.
we, the guys, got a room to celebrate
drank 40oz., ate jack in the box, and had fun.
robert puked a lot. we laughed at him.
a week or so ago, he got in a car accident
i didn't really like the guy too much,
or knew him much at all, i felt bad for him,
and i thought he would die, since that's how it's always been.
he's awake by now, and is doing better. Thank God.


trying to gain weight.
had a thing for lady L
glendale
didn't go as i hoped (THANK CHRIST)
now over it.

new years eve was great.

either/or

boys, hollywood

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Saturday, November 26th, 2005
12:50 pm - wake up from this dream
went to visit the old school, someone talked shit, kicked his ass.
went back next day, heard someones been looking for me.
afterwards my friend and i left, and some hispanic kid came saying
it was him looking for me. he wanted to fight.
i told him to fuck off 'cos i ain't fightin no 14y/o.
during my fight the day before, apparently he got involved and i hit him.
i don't even remember.
so we're by this truck, and he reaches his hand somewhere on the truck,
and he pulls out a gun.
i nearly shit my pants. without thinking twice, i grab the gun.
both hands on the gun.
it's practically pointing at me, i'm bending it to the side.
my friend doesn't know what to do.
after about what seemed to be a minute of bending & struggling,
i broke the gun outta his hand, then i tossed it to the ground
and told my friend to get it.
i told my friend to pocket it, and i told the kid to come with me
to get some food, 'cos i was hungry.
so, we went to eat, the three of us.
i ended up having to pay for everyone.
apparently the little douche-bag had to kill me to be accepted
into a fucking gang.
i told the little shit-stain (who was pretty damn tall for his age)
that if he wanted to be poor and living in the ghetto the rest of
his life, then either be killed or spend the rest of his life
behind bars (and not the good kinda bars),
then the gang life was for him.
i said "if you wanna make money and be a gangster for a living,
then try to join a mob." i think i was making sense to the kid.
he kept talking about local gangs too much, though.
i don't know what'll happen with him, but...
i'm just glad i'm here to tell the story.

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Thursday, November 24th, 2005
11:21 pm - Happy Thanksgiving
happy turkey day. i haven't had any turkey.
didn't celebrate this year.
today i realized that;
the world is big. it's alive.
it's big and alive.

picture yourself floating above the ocean;
the waves in your face,
and the breeze in your soul.

i look into the upcoming year
and hope it brings good fortune
for i wanna sit here next year
and tell you all the more i'm thankful for
i'm thankful....thank you.

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Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005
10:38 pm - anonymous.
strands flowing in the water
dropping from one place or another
plant-minded, making things a little faded
a little black & white, and a little more color
traveling from boredom to laziness
more should be getting spent done

note to self: got a chance to be something. got the chance of two. do something, make it happen, be something, and don't blow it....please.

grades for recently seen flicks:
"Waiting..." = */*** [half-a-star]
"Jarhead" = */***
"The Weather Man" = ****/****

great flicks i've discovered while netflix'n:
platoon, judgement night, pulp fiction
die hard, detroit rock city, & barfly
[mostly pop.flix i didn't feel like buying yet]
enjoyed some others. like cusack flicks and what not.

current shows i watch: prison break, the oc, arrested development (fuck you FOX for trying to cancel!,) veronica mars, my name is earl... also how i met your mother, the war at home, and reunion has become something i watch even though it's lame and extremely cheesy. cable shows are: the sopranos, deadwood, entourage, and curb your enthusiasm. i'd like to catch back up with "scrubs."

i've written enough. more than enough. i don't know why i even did. i don't think anybody ever reads these. i guess i'm just writing a journal to myself. from myself, for myself. like a real journal... i guess that's not too bad. kinda has a good ring to it.

ring, ring...


[foolish. had past 2 entries private. unrelease.]

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Wednesday, November 9th, 2005
12:11 am - dazed without confusion
i sit before you
dazed without confusion
cannabis on my mind
a shit-stain on the latrine
round as a balloon
high as a balloon
a dollar for everything i am
a lot of dollars


waiting for:
deadwood season 2 dvd
entourage season 2 dvd
dinner for five season 2 dvd
seaquest season 1 dvd

six feet under drowns in s3.
i love al from deadwood now.
arrested development is brilliant,
i don't see how people can not watch it.
prison break;
also brilliant.

current mood: high

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Saturday, November 5th, 2005
5:03 pm - back to the hard way
I stand outside, alone
Looking up, staring at the world
It stares back at me
I am little


screenplay is going well.
bought 75shares of sirius satelite radio stock.
going to buy more.


"what are you gonna be for halloween?"
a douche-bag.
now go fuck yourselves.
cunts.

halloween was lame. first time out on glenoaks, doing nothing.

week before, wednesday:
now, two wednesdays ago;
after months of growing my hair out to nose-length, i got it chopped off.
later, i drove alone to amc burbank 16 for a private screening for my friend greg's film "relative strangers." - i experienced some road rage, got pissed quite a bit. the movie was good. greg handed me the script for his movie that i will star in and exec. produce. it was about midnight, i headed over to kinko's to make a copy to send to an investor. i was making a right on vine to go into the kinko's parking lot, and this suspicious mexican/latino/hispanic/whatever the fuck you wanna call him--dude was passing by... so, i stopped and gave him the right of way, but he insisted that i enter the parking lot, so i did. as i was parking my car, i looked beside me and saw that same dude walking towards me as he looked around checking if anyone was around while he had his hands in his jacket pockets... we were alone, and he was heading towards me with something in his pocket... a gun, a knife, a dildo? who knows. a million thoughts ran through my mind... i said fuck this, set the gear on reverse, and backed the fuck outta there. shit... nearly got mugged/killed/whatever.
that's the second time some shit like that has happened to me.
the other time, i was nearly kidnapped.
it was august 22, 1995... it was my aunts brothers wedding... it was late at night, probably again around midnight... i was eight... my cousin, who was maybe four years older than me, and i went out to buy donuts from the street beside us... we were at a restaurant where the wedding reception/party/whatever was taking place... anyway, we crossed the street and went into the donut shop... my cousin bought his donut, then i bought mine, and turned around, and my cousin had left. i dont remember if i knew he left when he did or if i bought my donut, turned around, and he had gone already... anyway, i was alone... i walked out, i started to cross the street, and in the middle of the street on my right, a car, an old oldsmobile, i think, with like 5 guys in their 30s or so stopped in the middle of the street, and like 2 or 3 of them got out and started walking towards me as they looked around. i got scared, dropped everything, and ran my ass off to the restaurant. i got in and stuck my head back out, and i saw them get back in the car, and drive off, dissapointed.

okay, onto some good stuff...
this past tuesday, i got me some decent action.
was twice nice.
stoned and drunk and pumping away.
twice nice, twice nice.

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Tuesday, October 18th, 2005
11:02 am - things without an answer
walking down the street
face tucked in my shadow
unknown, unrecognized
a dead magnolia
where do i put my love?



39 shows til Sirius
need stocks.

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